Monday, August 5, 2013

something's gotta give

Some people know from a very early age that they want to be a nurse, or teacher when they grow up. Some people fall into a job or career that they never thought of, but it couldn't be a better fit for them. I have always known I wanted to be a mother when I grew up. Yet here I am, 27 and single, recently graduated from college with no backup plan (almost wrote plan b, before realizing what that stood for and then changed it to backup plan).

It never dawned on me that maybe I should think of something else to do in case I won't be a mom for a while. I have a degree in criminal justice with a minor in sociology and I would love to work in that field, but there seems to be limited jobs and a lot of demand.

Now I'm sitting here, in my sisters guest bedroom where I have been for the past 6 weeks. I have no place to call my own. All my belongings are in storage and I have no access to them (I'm talking about shoes here ladies!). I miss my things and I miss having a reason to get up in the morning, to get dolled up and hang out with friends and work at a job I love / like.

With the freedom that I wrote about here comes a lot of uncertainty. For example, I can go wherever I want to, but that seems to be changing a lot (from NC to AZ, big difference). I can be whatever I want to be, but I don't know what I would like to do. Maybe I'm just overwhelmed and I can't seem to make sense of anything. I am trying to make decisions, but they are not easy ones to make. There aren't many things I know for sure and that is scary.

Here is what I do know: I am practically homeless (not meaning I don't have a roof over my head, but I don't have a place to call my own), I am broke as a joke, I have sent out over 50 applications and so far received 15 rejection emails, I took 1 skills test that landed me in a 'pool of applicants for future openings' (I don't want to be in a pool that doesn't contain cholorine, or a job in the near future), and the Phoenix, AZ area is a frontrunner of possible places to live (where or how I came up with that one I can't tell you. If ANYONE lives in or near Phoenix, please please please email me telling me the ins and outs of the city and surrounding towns. I've never been!)

In my eyes, it doesn't look good, but it could be worse, much worse. There are not enough thank you's in the world that can thank my family for supporting me while I figure this thing called 'life' out. Its no fun, and I'm not enjoying myself. Hanging out at home all day with not a whole lot to do besides hang out with these two manicas

Hanging out with these two is a lot of fun...for the first 4 weeks, but its getting old.
Frustration and lack of patience are two of my enemies, along with not being able to talk to people during the day (too much thinking time is no good for anyone). Being single with no near future possibilities is making me realize that I should start doing things alone, like possibly buying a house (not right now, but eventually). I don't want to sit around and wait for mr. right or the right job to come along. I need to grab the bull by the balls in this shitty economy / job market.
So I guess I'll start p90x tomorrow again. I literally have no excuse not to do it, its not like I have no time! I might as well get a hot(ter) body while being unemployed. I'm not trying to be terribly negative or act as a debby downer (I am fully aware of the many blessings in my life at this moment), I am simply trying to write down my feelings and read back on this once I have a career, a husband and a child!!
Any advice for me? I'm sure it is not just me that is struggling or has struggled. Any help with be useful :)

1 comment:

  1. Chin up things happen when you are not looking. My current job called me after I applied there a year before. They just called me out of the blue. Work on you and exploring options. Get a hobby get an internship volunteer...while you are busy with all this your life will catch up. I'm here if you ever need to talk.