Monday, July 16, 2012

. forgiven but not forgotten .

So there are times in our lives when friends or the ones we thought we loved hurt us in all sorts of different ways. I think its unavoidable in any kind of relationship to have to forgive people. There is a difference between doing it on purpose or on accident. You can accidentally hurt someones feelings that require the other person's forgiveness, but sometimes people can be just plain cruel and hurt you on purpose.

I'm having a hard time forgiving certain people. I'm REALLY good holding grudges, however, I just can't forgive. I'm a lot like my grandmother in that sense, I believe she got into an argument with her brother...oh 40 some years ago and never talked to him again. I understand how you can do that with friends, but not with family. You can't choose your family, God picked them for you, and they will have flaws that you have to look past, or work on, but you can't just pick up and never talk to them again (or I couldn't do that).

Now, I'm getting better at forgiving. I know this will keep me sane and will make me a better person, however FORGETTING is never going to happen. I cannot forget some of the things that people have done to me. I will remember for years what someone did to me, and why we no longer talk, or hang around each other. There is just some stuff that people did to really upset me and hurt me so bad that there is no looking around that fact and I couldn't just continue to be friends with that person when that is all I would think about.

Sometimes I'm not too terribly upset when someone hurts me, but when you disrespect my parents...that a whole other story! That is just so utterly disrespectful and makes you seem like you weren't raised well or that you just have really screwed up manners. How dare you disrespect MY parents? I mean you can disrespect your parents for all I care, but to do that to someone else's parents is just beyond me. I hope to think that I treat all adults, parents with respect and dignity and that is because of the way I was raised and how I want people to see me. I'm not saying that I'm perfect in any way and that I didn't hurt anyone's feelings throughout my life, but I hope that I never disrespected anyone.

I just can't stand being lied to, or hurt by people and I have a hard time forgiving and I really CANNOT forget. I hope at some point I can be better at forgiving people, but I don't think I can learn how to forget. I just don't want to end up missing out on opportunities because I can't forgive someone's smallest mistake.

If any of ya'll have any advice on how to work on this, it would be greatly appreciated :) Thanks for letting me vent!

xoxo E

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